Jen and Matt have an awkward dinner without Greg and Colleen; Greg installs a home automation system; Heather and Tim try to sneak wine into an ice skating show; and John and Joan agree to an impromptu wedding with Colleen, who’s an ordained minister, officiating.
Tim receives two tickets to the Grammy Awards from Charlie Puth, who’s a patient, and takes Samantha to the show in order to impress her; Matt and Colleen meet with their wedding planner; John and Joan join Facebook; and Heather tries to save Sophia’s goldfish from dying.
Greg and Jen hire a private chef to cook for them on Valentine’s Day; Matt and Colleen try to adopt a dog from a judgmental animal advocate; John and Joan try to buy a classic car; and a boy gives Sophia a necklace for Valentine’s Day.
Greg insists on being Matt’s best man, which forces Matt to reveal the wedding plan; Colleen refers Jen to her bikini waxer in order to get a referral discount; Joan believes that Sophia is ready for a little independence; and Clementine takes a job at a car rental office.
When the family attends an L.A. Rams game, Colleen and Matt invite Kurt Warner to their family tailgate party; Sophia makes Tim take her to the restroom; Joan and Jen try to improve their seats; and Greg is picked for a halftime contest involving a football toss.
Samantha fails to win a role in the school musical; Matt, Greg and Heather suspect Joan is having an affair; Tyler and Clementine want to move out; and Jen, Colleen and Tim play a secret game of “Short Family Bingo” at the weekly Sunday brunch.
The Shorts take a trip down memory lane when they recall John and Joan’s Y2K party; Heather and Tim’s pre-Sophia parenting styles; Jen and Greg’s honeymoon; and Greg and Colleen’s first meeting.